I PASSED my first term exams ,just got my results this morning .
I was happy then ,very happy… success has the sweetest taste ever .
i didn’t expect to pass ,but i did .
i feel relieved ,very relieved .
but, by the end of the day the normal sadness returned .
- I thought a lot about the reasons why I’m always sad and i came up with those :
- I have no big target in my life ,at all .
- I don’t know what i want or what i should be doing .
- i hate my studying field ,although it’s not bad and has a great future ,but i just don’t like it .
- I lost all my old plans for future and can’t come up with new stuff .
- No female presence .
- yope ,that’s right.. i don’t have a girlfriend and never had .. why?
- simply because I have this thing about not being able to do useless stuff .
- stuff that i can see clearly that it won’t work due to practical reasons and will cause a huge amount of pain to end .
- also that I think that human emotions are something very dangerous to play with or take lightly.
- yet again how do I know that if I’ve never tried ?
- this also causing me a really bad case of loneliness that I’m unable to escape.
- Low self-confidence
- my self-confidence is slightly shaken by past experiences and I have no idea how to restore it.
- other than those stuff my life is almost perfect ,I’ve no BIG BIG problems … nothing
- yes … nothing …. nothing is the problem itself .. a huge pile of nothing in both my heart and mind .
one thing always made me feel good : singing as loud as i can in my car while driving ..ppl think i’m nuts