Today i had a Math exam
my first one this term..and my first one at Alexandria Uni.
and i sucked … totally sucked
i had perfect circumstances ..
the course was easy .. it’s math for god’s sake
the exams was easy ..
i slept well..
the exam didn’t have any thing i didn’t solve before
and yet .. i sucked
didn’t solve even half of it
why? … don’t know why.
i knew how to solve the problems..
i knew the laws
and yet didn’t write a word
may be lack of self confidence.. don’t know
may be i’m just stupid..
don’t give me this crap about the Egyptian education sys. and this stuff.
again .. it’s Math for god’s sake.
i only cried three times in the life i remember
once when my grandfather died
2nd when i failed a year at college .. and i wasn’t crying because of that … i just couldn’t face my parent knowing i was neglecting every thing about college and the fact that i didn’t do the work.
the third was today …i feel stupid .. very stupid
i knew the answer and didn’t have the balls to write it … or enough smartness !!
actually I don’t have anything special… i’m not very funny ..i’m not very handsome i’m not very anything
but i (thought) i was smart… now i’m just not.
i feel lower than the ocean’s bottom.
whatever self confidence that was left in me…
i just lost it today ….
ie:I’m writing in English because it makes things easier for me to say