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Soul in conflict

What is right and what is wrong ? who decides ?

me, you, the government or may be God.

all day i was being hit by disappointments one after another ,but that day had quite an unusual ending for me.

i ended up around 11 pm sitting in one of the few night clubs in Alexandria with friends (some of them i’ve never seen before) with everybody drinking and dancing.

but i wasn’t drinking nor dancing .

i wasn’t dancing simply because i can’t (i’ve never been in a nightclub before) .

and i wasn’t drinking because i can’t decide if it’s a good move or not.

see. . i was raised in an ordinary middle class Egyptian family .

one the does every thing that other ppl do simply because other ppl do it .

and because of this I inherited values and religious rules that is too hard to break .

yet i’m not the kind of devoted worshipers who practically live in mosques.

actually i visit the mosque only once a week every Friday and i might pray once or twice at home during the entire week.

yet still somethings can’t be broke.

i do suffer from a very dull life which i tried to escape over the year in the cyber space ,but that proved to be a failure and a very dull typical group of friends who never get tired of doing the same things every day for years now .

the night life seems fun .. it is fun ,BUT it comes with cost .

if i to blind in a community i have to play with it’s rules not mine .

yet i can’t decide .

i’m some how neutral to life ,refusing to be driven in any way what so ever and that leads to not experiencing anything at all !

i’m confused .

can’t decide or make a move in anything .

restrained by a set of morals or even rules that i’ve created for my self without having the courage to break it or even obeying it .


Humans by nature don’t do what they think it’s right ,they do what makes them happy .


About MeMo

I'm a 22 Egyptian male who has just fed up with every thing around him and seeking change

9 responses to “Soul in conflict

  1. isaiah30v8 ⋅

    Admiting that you don’t know the answer is a good start.

    People who decide to do what makes them happy must think they are making the correct decision even if it might cause pain or distress to other people who might be influenced by their decision.

    I made a video called “The Athiest Delusion”.

    It might help reconcile your dilemma.

    Here it is:

  2. gjoe

    I don’t know about you, but i feel happy when i do 2 things
    1-accomplish something after really hard work
    2-makes someone else (a friend, family) happy and good about themselves.

    It is the nature of “el donya” that the feeling of happiness doesnt last for a long time. But someone should always try to make it as frequent as possible.

    As for the rules and who puts them ba2a, i trust and have faith that my only reference is Allah’s rules. He created me, the people around me, and this whole universe.So when He sets a rule, He pretty much knows what He is talking about.Even if a rule seems illogical, it is the only thing one should abide by. This is because traditions set by a country or culture are always changing and are never absolute.They DO confuse not only you, but everyone whoever tried following them. Yet Allah’s rules are concrete yet flexible.And yes, their sole reason is that they are made for the “happiness” of man on earth. Wallaho A3lam! 🙂

  3. sara

    Well, well, well..

    Reading this reminded me of Moez Masoud.. I really do love the way he puts thing down for us 🙂

    All I could do here is share it with you all.. Hope you’d find it interesting 🙂

    with respect,

  4. Adham

    Somehow you managed to get exactly how I feel too about life here in Alexandria. It is boring, or we make it look this way some how. Everybody is pursuing happiness but they end up doing the same shit over and over again. Sometimes I wonder are these guys really happy?
    Almost everybody I know smokes hash or drinks alcohol in an attempt to find this “happiness” but do they really? I don’t think so…
    I agree with gjoe on that true happiness is found in accomplishing something or making somebody else happy but I think that we’re all as a community are so negative that we neither want to work hard nor do we want to make others happy because we feel that we’re ourselves not happy so why care about others?
    Happiness is found in the littlest stuff. And believe you and me, there’s nothing better than going to the army to appreciate these little stuff. A hot shower, a clean glass of water, a huge cup of cappuccino.
    Life is nothing but a series of missed opportunities and until we give up our selfishness and material way of life we are not going to find true happiness.
    Good day to you all.

  5. Cursed ⋅

    okay! am his friend and i was with him that night actuallly am the one who took him with me and also i was the only friend of his that night!
    and i dont need to tell ya that am doin that cuz it’s makin me happy cuz u know me enough to talk about the reasons u know it all .. but the thing is and i think that we had that discussion so many times b4 my friend!, it’s all up to u!bein religious bein atheist , even bein religious and do things against it, havin beliefs and follows it or respectin some beliefs and do everything against it. and u know that although what i’ve gone through that’s not makin me so happy, but the thing is am gettin experiences. so as i told ya b4 ppl on the right side arnt happy, and the same with who on the left, and we’re in the middle and they are teearin us up, but also, no one NO ONE should be blamed for anything u are doin or will do, not the soceity not the religion not even u bad friends whatever ppl think of to blame u shouldnt blame anyone but urself, pick a side and go through to the end u would get a quite good experince and if u wd find urself there just stuck to it, and if not go to the other and check it out too!” that’s what am belivin in” or actually i decided to do a while ago!,.. just make ur mind and get the solutions urself.

    and yeah onething i really gotta say .. sorry if u got ya more confused but hey u just got me so confused too! 😉 see ya my friend

  6. Xero

    isaiah30v8 :thanks for the link i will definitely watch the video

    gjoe: if the feeling of happiness is meant to last then people will do one thing then just rest in peace … it’s meant not to last so that humans keep on trying to be happy and life goes one .

    as for the rules, (this one is for Sara too ) yes Allah’s rules are absolute ,but can you really extract them from all of the fatwas chaos that’s going on .. and i’ve already lost faith of 99% of all the priests (shiekhs) in the modern or even the not so modern world ,i feel that there brains somehow got stuck in the middle ages and never moved one step forward .

    Alexandria isn’t a dull place ,hell the army itself can be a fun place if you are surrounded by a fun loving group who understands each others well .

    are they happy ? i don’t know ,may be and may be not ,but at least they have tried one way that DOESN’T work and they’ll start searching for a new one that works .

    hehe .. i’ve been to -el madina el game3eya- and believe me there is not much difference between it and the army and i do know what a clean cup of water means 😀 .

    giving out selfishness and the material life is something ppl call a ” NEVER WILL HAPPEN DREAM ” simply because we are humans and being selfish and materialistic is what humans do .

    Cursed : first of all that’s not the suitable nickname to comment with on such a post 😛 😛 .
    dude you, i and most sane people know that people who blame others for there actions are both assholes and childish . make no mistakes ,i wanted to go and was happy going to the night club.
    but do i really want to live that life ? i don’t know !

    taking a side is not as easy as it seems buddy and this is the point of all this post which most commenters missed it .
    it’s not about what is right or what is wrong , it’s about doing something .
    but do what ? which way should i go? and will i be able to return if it proven to be the wrong way? that is the real question people .

  7. sara

    Bu come on, there is a 1%, don’t you wanna find ’em? Plus you don’t have to count on them priests? You have your heart.. Right? 🙂

  8. sara

    And oh, of course you can return & start from square one (if you’re proven wrong).. 🙂

  9. Xero

    yeah of course there is the good 1% , but i don’t want them .. or i do ..

    believe me it’s not that easy .. as square one lies on a one way road 😀

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