Pale

It’a amazing how one band can create a song for every mood or feeling i feel .

whatever i feel i just find a song that describes it perfectly .

WT is THE band.

Sharon Den Adel is the top of the world of Metal/hard rock female vocals on planet earth.

Pale
by Within Temptation

The world seems not the same,
though I know nothing has changed.
It’s all my state of mind,
I can’t leave it all behind.
I have stand up to be stronger.

Chorus:
I have to try to break free
from the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can’t say goodbye,
have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
in the end it’s worthwhile,
that the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.

I know, should realise
time is precious, it is worthwhile
Despite how I feel inside,
have to trust it will be alright.
Have to stand up to be stronger.

Repeat chorus
Oh, this night is too long.
I have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I’m floating away.
Through the mist I see the face
of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you’re the reason I have to stay.

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Free time : The ENEMY

it seems that most people’s goal is to maximize their free time to enjoy whatever they do or just have some rest .
but free time actually is one of my biggest enemies .
for me free time and sadness both mad a pact together to make my life miserable.
i try o avoid the state of having nothing to do by inventing new stuff to do .
i walk a lot and by a lot i mean A LOT something like from Ba7ari to San Stefano and back .
i play games that takes long time to finish and when i finish them, i download some more .
yo make a long story short i do anything that keeps me busy.
when i have absolutely nothing to do .. i sleep … sometimes i sleep for 3 days with just a few hours awake ,of course i’ve to suffer an extreme headache for another 2 days after that.
Once i get this feeling of emptiness. sadness and loneliness attacks brutally killing everything in there way even my smile .

actually i’m writing this very post just to get busy with something .. i think i’ll go to sleep now.

GN

everybody’s Alternative

Alternative duality

I do have a lot of friends with all kinds of personalities ,but i don’t know why i always get the feeling that i’m everybody’s second choice or alternative that they turn out to ,just when they have no one else.
Although i don’t really care or think about this a lot ,but deep down i’ve always known it and it HURTS LIKE HELL .

i want to cry

crying

why is it so shameful for a man to cry in our society ?
i do want to cry as hard as i can , i feel depressed and stressed to the limit .
i feel like a kid who is left home alone in the dark .
or like a mute blind deaf person who can’t communicate or tell the world what the hell is wrong with him .
i want to cry!

keeping the faith

i’ve just finished watching keeping the faith movie ..
i watched it because i like Edward Norton and Jenna Elfman really looked cute in this movie – i like short hair girls 🙂
after watching it …it makes me wonder .. is it that hard to get friends who truly understand you?
there is an old Arab saying that “there is 3 impossible things ,the phoenix , the boggy man and a loyal friend”

https://i0.wp.com/gallery.photo.net/photo/3645421-md.jpg

the problem for me is not about loyalty as it’s about understanding .
if no one around me is capable of understanding how I think or feel then what’s the point of having him/her as a friend in the first place.
if i can’t express my feelings to anyone or just have fun then i’m all alone … god it sucks .
having a lot of people around me is something i’m used to ,but lake of understanding eventually leads to silence and lake of effect which is the biggest problem.
some people effects you the moment you see them and some other people which you see every day , but there existence doesn’t make any difference in your life or even your day , that’s because of many reasons one of them that they aren’t trying at all ,another one is that you are not giving them the room for it.
well .. i’m from the first type ,i don’t try to affect people who don’t share any kind of understanding with me .
just like a ghost in their lives and there at mine ,this is a good strategy to avoid stupids and ppl you don’t like away and just keep close with the ones you understand ,BUT what if there is none.

Feeling Lost

Lost.. this is the most accurate description to what i feel now.

I have so many feelings at the same time .. i dunno .. should i be happy, sad, lonely or even depressed ?

i feel all of that in one day .

i wake up with a feeling and i sleep with another and with another one during the day .

I don’t know what i wantin life .. what do i wanna be huh..?

really .. what should i be in this life ?

i’m 21 and it’s a matter of months till i get to the real world and god knows i’m not ready for that, but it’s coming whether i wanted or not it’s coming

and god knows i’m NOT ready to this life.i’m an Egyptian .

that means a middle eastern 3rd world country and the situation here is just bad as it sounds ..may be i’m escaping , but do i have other choices ?? i dunno